What I expect from Sept. 9th’s Keynote #apple #iphone6 #iwatch

Hey you guys. Hey guys: A wearable is coming out.

 

Yeah, you’ll soon be able to bling out with Apple merch and pimp your swag…sorry.

 

 

Anyway, what actually is happening tomorrow?

A keynote.  What kind of keynote?  An iPhone 6 keynote.  The iPhone 6 is going to be thinner and faster and sleeker and shinier and sexier and…other things…….yeah.

 

But what’s this about a wearable?  A completely new product?  A thing that so many Apple fans are going to scrutinize VERRRRRY closely in order to determine if Apple still has Steve Job’s DNA inside of it?  A thing that fans are calling…the iWatch?

 

Yup.  A timepeice.  A clock.  Apple is making a clock.  But it won’t be just any clock.  You can wear it on your wrist, and if you can wear it on your wrist, you can track movement.  And if you can track movement, you can tie it in with another new app in iOS 8:  Health.  No, it’s not called Healthbook anymore, it’s just called Health.

 

So…what is this iWatch and how will it work?

 

The internet has no freaking clue.  And if the internet has no clue, then Apple is doing its job protecting its products.

 

Just watch:  The iWatch will come up on the projector screen.  It’s sexy curves and expertly machined metal exterior will wow the audience.  Jony Ive will get poetic about how great it is.  Tim Cook will rant on and on…

And then it will become clear that the iWatch does 2, maybe 3 things because of the damn screen size.  You’re welcome, now here’s an asprin.

 

 

As for the iPhone?

 

Well…it’s an iPhone.  Sorry to disappoint, but barring the addition of third-party keyboards which Android has, widgets which Android has, NFC which Android has, Android parts which Android has…it’s just going to be a new iPhone.  Combined with a Nike fuel band and $1,000,000 worth of hospital equipment (oh wait, what am I trying to say again?)

 

HA, just kidding.  Look below the surface you guys.  It helps.

 

On the software side, I’ll expect the Gold Master beta version of iOS 8 to come out after the keynote.  If you don’t know what a Gold Master version is, it’s the final beta version before the software goes public.

And if there isn’t a “One More Thing” at the end, the audience will explode with broken traditions.

 

Maybe the “One More Thing” will be the iWatch.

Maybe the “One More Thing” will be an actual TV set for Apple TV.

Maybe it will be a second completely new product.

Maybe…