…huh.
No seriously, that’s how it can be summed up.  Just…huh.
And the reason I say “huh” is because…well…just read and find out…because…huh…
———
The Remote
The remote is…okay?  It’s got a lot more buttons than the previous one (at least if you count the rotor on the previous one to be one button)…like 3 more.  And even though it has a dual microphone, it’s not very sensitive (well, okay, that can be justified in that you might have several people all talking at once while you’re trying to use Siri, but still…).
And it’s also a Wiimote.  Because it has an accelerometer and a gyroscope.  Okay…since you’re entering the games space then, Apple, I guess you’d best be like the best…but…
Huh.
——
The Setup Process
I actually kind of like this.  You can set it up using your iPhone by holding it near the Apple TV.  That’s really nice and slick.  You can also choose to set it up manually and HOLY BALLS APPLE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS:
Happy Carpel Tunnel Syndrome day.  Because did I mention the remote has no keyboard and it has a touchpad?  I didn’t?  Funny, it’s almost like you assumed this part would be innovative and that Apple wouldn’t jury-rig a Mac trackpad to the remote and then jury-rig the Mac monitor to use Tablet Mode from Windows 10 </lamecompetitorjoke>.  It’s almost like I assumed it would be innovative.  It’s almost like Apple is too obsessed with the Xbox or something.  It’s almost like…huh.
——
The TV Experience
It’s…kind of what you would imagine.  Except Siri does do well with this.  Very well, in fact.  You can use her to find any type of show you want, and buy it abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz and watch it immediately.  And since it’s connected to your iCloud account abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz, all your purchased movies and TV shows appear for you to watch without having to buy them abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
There is a dedicated Photos app as well, so if you’re signed in to iCloud abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz you can view all of your photos and videos (or you could just AirPlay them up to it from your iDevices).
There’s also a direct link to Netflix if the movie is available on there, so you can watch it there abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz if you desire.
Now, you’re probably wondering why I kept interrupting everything with the alphabet.  Wherever there is an alphabet, that is where you need to input something on the keyboard.  By default.  You do the thinking yourself.  I know Apple products have made it difficult to think because they were all intuitive and super easy to use…but it seems that there’s been some downhill careening going on.  Maybe.  I hope not.  Although this makes it difficult to ignore.  But I hope not.
SERIOUSLY ARE THERE NO BRAINS LEFT AT APPLE DOES NO ONE GET CARPEL TUNNEL SYNDROME THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE ACTUALLY BUT FUCKING COME ON YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT YOUR USER AND DO I HAVE TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS FACT THAT EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE ROOM CAN SEE YOU TYPE IN YOUR PASSWORD SEVERAL TIMES A DAY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL WAS ANYONE AT APPLE THINKING THATS NOT PRIVACY THATS ANTIPRIVACY AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MATTER AND ANTIMATTER COLLIDE THEY EXPLODE…
Huh.
——
The Keyboard
Now let’s talk about WHY this is.  I know it’s very obviously stupid, but here’s why they 1.  couldn’t maintain the connection with the iPhone to type in things using the iPhone, or 2. put an iPhone-like keyboard on the remote.
1.  Maybe you don’t have an iPhone even if you set it up USING AN IPHONE
2.  Battery, even if it’s an LCD screen like a digital clock.
3.  Whoever designed the Apple TV deserves to sit in the corner and think about what they’ve done and think about why they never listened to Tim Cook and Jony shouting from the back about how everyone could see you type in your password and why they tried to squeeze the remote into this awkwardly small profile and not give it some sort of keyboard and why. YOU.  CAN’T.  DICTATE.  INTO.  THE.  KEYBOARD.
Huh?