Apple was sitting on A.I. this whole time? #waitwut #apple #keynote #wwdc

[This post is mostly about iOS…because for some reason Apple focused on it.  And it, FOCUSED, on it.  Read on.]

 

Um…the title basically says it all.  Besides some, yes, UI and user experience improvements that make everything a whole lot better…why did it take so long for any of this to happen?  There’s so much stuff here, artificial intelligence, more opening up, watchOS actually living up to what company it came from…

And yes, ACTUALL artificial intelligence, not just followup questions for Siri or tracking what apps you use when.

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The User Interface/Experience

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Word of advice:  Tell your fans you’re working on stuff like this, rather than just going “Oh, incremental update!  We’re Apple and we’re innovative but we have our head stuck in a bucket!”

 

The UI is now a sort of “translucent plastic card” model, so almost everything works off of looking like a bunch of cards that you slide around.  It feels like Google’s material design, but not exactly restricted to physical/scaling movements.  It’s also smoother…I guess…

Sorry.  I’m a little annoyed.  iOS 7-9 had nothing except people complaining that Jony had no idea what he was doing, and apparently he was being some sort of Godzilla and not allowing anything to change or whatever, and now suddenly it’s UX and AI and APPLE.  I’m getting ahead of myself, but I don’t really care.  Oh, Jony, what the hell did you do?  Did you get fired?  I guess not, since it didn’t make the news.  My dad had already assumed that Apple had completely lost it.  Did Apple plan this?  I’ll shut up now.

 

…Oh yeah, CONSISTENCY!  WHY NOW??

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The Photos app

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Word of advice:  This is not UI, but it still makes everything better.

 

This is where the bulk of the artificial intelligence work went.  iOS can now scan each photo in search of objects, face, and scene data, but that’s not all.

It can compile groups of photos and videos into one long video called a Memory.  It edits, adds transitions, and adds music.  It creates a story, it can selectively pick out your best photos, and your best clips from your videos.  It does all this automatically.  You do absolutely nothing.  You can pick the mood and the length, and it can re-edit the entire video automatically.

Of course this is completely similar to Google’s Auto Awesome feature, except for the Mood and Length sliders.

It does it all on device…unless Apple’s lying (and if you want a downer, talk to my dad about iOS.  That is all.)

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Everything else

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Word of advice:  You’re slow, Apple.

 

I watched a 50 Hidden Features of iOS 10 video.  I found a >RESTRICTED BY TOS< in the Notes app.  And yes, I got excited and downloaded it, and yes, I’m a registered developer, and no, I might not use that account properly, but yes, I will try as hard as I can to keep these betas secret, at least until Apple releases the Public Betas.

I’m assuming I can show people things that were shown in the keynote, because everyone and their dog watches those, but as for things not shown in the keynote, I’m not allowed to show, and I will respect that.  As much as I can.

 

One thing that could be a point of alarm…they changed the way you get into the phone.  Instead of swiping to the right, you press the home button.  I guess that’s more in line with the Home screen build-in animation, but…I wonder if it would cause someone to instinctively throw their phone against the wall the first time they see that.

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watchOS

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Well, at least Apple finally thought.  Uh—I mean they finally did something—they finally made the apps launch instantly—um, they finally……gave Jony Ive a white egg……or whatever……

*shrug* It’s a better watch now.  It has a dock so you can access your favorite apps.  You activate it by pressing the side button.  So now it does four things.  Hey, they’re at least TRYING to try.  Not that the Apple Watch was intuitive to begin with.

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tvOS

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This was the only place where Apple mentioned a Dark Mode in the keynote.  The reason?  Eddy Cue pressed a button that made a high pitched whine that freaked out his dog and caused it to eat that part of the script.  Or in layman’s terms:  I have no clue.

Apple’s making a new version of the Remote app to control it.  Beyond that I don’t remember.

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macOS

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Yes, it isn’t called OS X anymore.  Instead Apple made the name fall in line with everything else.  There’s a joke here, but Bozoma ate it.

Siri integration!  And she kind of serves the same purpose as Spotlight!  [Also I just realized, now Spotlight can be construed as a way to type to Siri…kind of.]

Also, space management.  As in, the Mac uploads old files that you don’t use as often to the cloud and deletes them from the hard disk.  Which is why I won’t be downloading the developer preview for the Mac…that will almost literally be playing with fire.  Or a time bomb.  Or both.

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One more thing…

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There was a one more thing.  And it was weird.  It was the weirdest and yet most refreshing (in a way) thing I’ve seen from Apple.  Wanna know what it was?

 

It was the iOS 10 marketing video that wasn’t shown in the iOS 10 section because apparently no one noticed that no one wrote it into the section because no one said no or no one said yes and WHAT THE F—